Prioritizing a Relationship Amidst a Hectic Work Life

prioritizing relationship amidst a hectic worlk life

Recently I heard many people say repeatedly, “I’m so busy with work right now, I can’t imagine having a relationship.” Work can be a very consuming activity. Some people feel that they eat and sleep just to maintain their body and mind so they can perform well professionally. By the end of the work day, not the work itself – as work has the tendency to never end, they are too tired to enjoy their family, go on a date, or attend any social activity. While work can be very interesting, exciting, and rewarding, it shouldn’t be all there is to life.  Consider this, not working enough was never a regret expressed by any person on their deathbed. So how can anyone start a relationship or maintain a satisfying relationship when work is so demanding? To answer that I spoke with business coach Laurie Litwack and asked her to share her advice on how to have it all in life: career and personal life.

Here before you stands a Coach, Consultant and Engineer. Laurie Litwack is a problem solver, a successful business leader, expert coach and mentor with a passion for leadership and creating greater impact for women in tech. Working with large cross-team efforts, diverse employees, and complex objectives in her two decades at Microsoft, she is intensely dedicated to guiding people and projects to success. Laurie works with women leaders, and teams where her mission is to shift the culture and decision-making in tech leadership to be more inclusive and more innovative. Her dream is to be involved in the journey that leads to the cure for Type 1 diabetes.

Laurie Litwack business coach on how to prioritize relationships

What aspects of your business coaching can be easily applied to personal relationships?

My business-coaching niche is providing inspiration and accountability for women in the technology industry, enabling them to have more impact and get what they want in both their business and personal life. First, I encourage my clients to clarify what they want, prioritize it, and go get it. Second, great communication is important to create trust and understanding of common goals in both business and personal. There is the tendency to assume that the other party has the same intentions, but it’s important to communicate your intentions and goals to verify that you actually have shared goals. In business, the term for this is - Trust, and Verify. Third, trusting gut feelings in the decision-making-process is also important in any type of relationship. To achieve mutual goals, whether you are a business colleague or a couple, it is crucial that all sides involved should keep moving forward with honesty and collaboration.

What can people with demanding jobs do to have a healthy personal life?

In my life and my clients’ lives, time is a precious commodity.  To make the most out of life, the first step is to clarify one’s priorities by answering questions such as, “What is most important in my life?” and “What makes meaning in my life?”. It can be making time for one’s self, or achieving certain goals, for example, “I want to be  outdoors more,” or “I want to spend time with my partner/family.” The next step would be to include your goals in your schedule and honor your commitment to yourself. To achieve that, one must set boundaries: how much time to spend at work and how much time to dedicate to other important areas in life. Personally I like to be loud and proud about my boundaries. Setting priorities and boundaries frees people to fully give themselves during the time dedicated to their committed task and to do each thing with purpose - when at work, the focus is on work, and when with a spouse or on a date, the focus is on this person - without feeling any guilt. Of course there are times when a job can be demanding for a certain period of time. In this case, it’s important to acknowledge that and commit to give time to family, partner, or self when this period is over.

When a single-person’s goal is to find a partner, what steps would you recommend he or she take?

To attract the person that you want to be with, you first need to become that person that you would love to be with, and find it exciting to be around. Be clear on who you are and what you want.  Make an honest inventory of your personality and engage in the activities of the-person-that-you-want-to-be-with, like going for a walk, volunteering at the food bank, or joining a Search and Rescue organization . Sometimes it means that you need to go outside of your comfort zone, but do it from a place of confidence. I personally believe that confidence is attractive. Make sure to prioritize the time to enjoy yourself, and make it your goal to be a great person to be around, whether as a friend, a partner, or a business associate.

Too busy to have a relationship? Come and learn how to make time for the most important things in your life. 

Business Coach Laurie Litwack is the guest speaker of the upcoming Making a Match seminar on Thursday, 10/12, 7-9pm at the Redmond library. Visit Making a Match website for more details and to register for free.

To get involved with matchmaking in greater Seattle community please join Making a Match Seattle facebook group.