Many people put a strong emphasis on their appearance when they want to find someone. Some will go on a diet, get in shape, buy a new wardrobe, or have a new hairstyle to be more attractive before meeting someone new. There is another way to increase your attractiveness, and it’s not physical at all but rather a more of mental and spiritual kind of work. It begins with taking the time to build consciousness by defining your being, desires, and needs. Instead of going outward, you go inward to find your answers and to magnetize your true soul mate. In this interview I asked Kabbalah teacher Yosef Shvili to share his spiritual teaching on what would be the inner work each person should focus on to attract the right mate to their life.
Yosef Shvili is a senior teacher at The Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles. For the past 20 years Yosef has helped people connect and reconnect with the Light to bring greater fulfillment to their lives. He began overseeing the Centre in Haifa Israel, and for the past 10 years has been responsible for being a source of transformational change for hundreds of students in San Diego, CA. He also oversees the study groups in Phoenix, AZ and San Francisco, CA. Yosef shares his vision of ending pain and suffering and bringing happiness to the world through the spreading of the Zohar with his wife, Esther, and their three sons.
What is Kabbalah?
Kabbalah is an ancient spiritual wisdom that teaches how to develop our consciousness to the rules of life. I like to call it Waze of life. There are laws of the physical world, as we can see in physics, biology, and chemistry, and the Kabbalah explains the laws of the spiritual side of the universe. According to the Kabbalah, we believe that the more consciousness we have to our existence and the spiritual laws of the universe, the more we can become aware and fulfill the reason we came to this world. The Kabbalah covers a wide range of topics such as incarnation, relationships, Kabalic astrology – which is different from the common astrology that focuses of predicting the future, psychology, mindfulness, and meditation.
What is the meaning of the relationship between a couple in the Kabbalah?
The relationship of a couple, according to the Kabbalah, is a spiritual platform for the couple to develop their consciousness, to find a higher level of fulfillment in their connection, and to influence each other’s spiritual growth and development. We are here to learn how to love; and in a relationship we learn what true love is. Most people marry based on a very narrow understanding of love like physical attraction, sexuality, economical reasons, or any other physical or emotional needs they may have. The Kabbalah acknowledges these aspects in life but encourages a couple to explore the spiritual connection in their relationship. According to the Kabbalah, real love develops after marriage, not before. Real love withstands all the challenges and hardships in the relationship, and in life, while learning and growing from them and sharing mutual trust and respect. It is measured in the everyday small gestures, as the old adage says: God is in the details.
How do you find your perfect mate according to the Kabbalah?
Start by listing the traits that you want to find in the other person. Next, become this type of person yourself. That will attract the person that you envision to your life. Kabbalah doesn’t ask for perfection, but for progression – the willingness to learn, to search, and to accept. The search for the perfect mate should start with setting the right intentions by defining first what is important to you in a relationship. Money, looks, and sexual drive at a certain point loose their appeal. What lasts is the true love to the person you are with. Another way to start the search for the perfect mate is by starting with the question: “What am I looking for?” then, as you can’t take without giving something in return, ask yourself, “What am I giving in return?” As you can see, finding the perfect mate according to the Kabbalah is all about consciousness, mindfulness, and purposefulness. Finding this soul-level-click with someone is a miracle, and it happens when you do the spiritual work.